A guide to being gainfully (un)employed

I assume I have your attention if you have clicked on the link. In the interest of transparency, this is in no way a guide on how to make money whilst being unemployed but rather the chronicles of a 30 something year old, trying to navigate unchartered territory of unemployment in addition to all the other "adulty" things on my plate.

You’re most welcome to leave now that you know it’s not a “get rich quick” guide, but I would much appreciate it if you chose to stay – you may get a much-needed laugh or even find yourself relating to some of the challenges that come with adulting…

So, who am I and why am I venturing into the world of blogging when I am almost 40? Yes yes – quite possibly a mid-life crisis, but really, I am on day 4 of unemployment and literally crawling the walls. So instead of staring at the wall or binge watching some vaguely interesting show on Netflix, this felt like a productive use of my time.

I am Lara, a wife, a mom to a human child and 4 fur children, a wildlife enthusiast, an amateur wildlife photographer, a bird nerd and a qualified chartered accountant. In addition to this I am also a statistic, I am one in four, I am an “angel mom” and have two children who did not make it earthside.

June 28th, 2021, I received a notice of retrenchment, in today’s economic climate in South Africa where the aftereffects of the first COVID 19 induced lockdown are still being felt, my initial thoughts were “WTAF?? How am I going to manage? Am I going to find another job, how will we pay our bills? Jobs in South Africa are so scarce”, the list goes on.

I came to realize that many of the emotions I was feeling was very similar to the emotions experienced (perhaps not as intense) when I suffered my miscarriages. Essentially, it is a loss, and one must grieve.

First came denial: “no, this is just a formality, I’ll be ok, they’ll find something for me, I mean I am an asset to the team, aren’t I?”

Then came anger: “such BS, I put some much effort into my job, I made a difference (did I though?), they’ll be sorry once I’m gone…blah blah blah”

This then led to Bargaining: “perhaps I should have done more of this and less of that…are we really sure there is nothing else for me…?”

Cue depression: “there is no hope…I am doomed…why did I bother with putting in so much effort? I am a failure!!!”

And then I came to accept that there was no future for me with my employer. There was no alternative, there was nothing more I could have done, I am an asset, I am not a failure. I am a casualty of a restructure.

So, the burning question…where to from here?

Being a typical type A, highly anxious individual I need to have a plan, I need the security of knowing so I can adequately prepare myself for every possible scenario…

Oddly enough, I am not falling apart at the seams (yet), but torn between choosing the path of least resistance and returning to the corporate world or exploring other options which are well outside my (current) comfort zone…

For a while now, I have had this increasing need to “change the world”. I guess there are many out there who want to “change the world”, but I’m not talking about “world peace – change the world stuff" because let’s face it, humans are unlikely to let that happen for various reasons, which I won’t go into. I’m talking about making a lasting contribution to society and the world we live in.

How do I do this without losing the years of dedication to my trade and qualification? How can I merge my current skillset to make a difference in an area I am passionate about?

I need to digress for a moment…everybody has 1 word that makes them flinch. Many cringe at the word “moist”, others the F word or other expletives, my most cringe worthy word has got to be passionate. I can’t reconcile it to anything other than a Mills & Boon romance novel – not that I have read any so this next statement is pure speculation that PASSIONATE is heavily overused in said romance novel.

Consequently, I would like to revise my above question to read “How can I merge my current skillset to add value and contribute to a cause I believe in?”

A few months ago, whilst out on a hike with a friend, she asked me if money wasn’t an issue and if I could start my career over, what would I do?

It was an interesting question; one I had pondered many times before but had never been able to answer with much conviction.

I had previously flirted some ideas which were shot down almost as quickly as they were thought of:

• Wedding planner, weddings are stressful things and my personality and tendency for perfectionism would likely result in much frustration – so moving swiftly along…

• Baker…I went through a phase where I became very adventurous in the kitchen and actually followed recipes when baking; then I made my daughter’s first birthday cake and that was the end of that chapter in my life…

• Wedding photographer – refer above

• Teacher – well this is an interesting one as I had initially considered teaching as a profession in my last few years of high school. I was however dissuaded by well-meaning individuals who believed it was not lucrative enough.

When I was faced with this question this time round, I was rather surprised that almost immediately with much conviction I replied with “Cheetah conservation”.

As you can imagine, Cheetah conservation is a completely different field to crunching numbers, financial forecasts, budgets, reporting and analysis.

Being retrenched hit my confidence, it had me questioning my ability and what I bring to the table. It’s hard.

It has also been the push I need to delve into the quandary of how I can change the world.

In September, I’ll be wading in the shallow end of conservation, spending 2 weeks volunteering at Ashia Cheetah Sanctuary in the Western Cape.

I hope you will join me on this adventure…

Until next time.

Lara

Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path – unknown

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